Outside my office window today, I watched a 6-man crew pour a new driveway at our house. It was amazing to see how well they worked together as a team. No one complained. They often switched roles, picking up whatever tool or task was needed at the moment. They talked and laughed. They worked hard, and they got the job done beautifully.
That got me thinking…
What if those of us who are married or have a family had the same perspective? It’s not about me or my wife. It’s about US. We recognize we are a team on a mission. We don’t complain, we often switch roles, stepping in to take care of whatever task is needed at the moment. We talk, we make it fun, we laugh. AND we work hard at being good team members! We do whatever it takes to win together.
The result? A beautiful display of what marriage can be like.
What if we acted in similar ways when it comes to PLEDGEtalk with all our relationships? For instance, someone takes the initiative to say, “Can we PAUSE and stop a moment? How we are talking right now is not good for US. Let’s take a break to work on ourselves a bit, and then come back to see how we can best communicate as team members.”
What difference might that make in our relationships?
The same could happen with LISTEN or any of the other PLEDGEtalk steps. Someone steps into PLEDGE at any given time, like the following:
LISTEN: “Hey, I know something is going on in you or between us. I’d like to stop and listen so that I might understand.”
ECHO: “You just said a lot – let me see if I can echo back to make sure I got it all.”
DISARM: “Thanks for telling me that. I can see your viewpoint on the matter. That makes sense.”
GIVE: “That was helpful to hear your viewpoint on the matter. Would you be ok if I give my perspective as well so that we might both understand each other better and up the chances for us to experience the best outcome as a team?”
ENGAGE: “Can we agree to make the use of PLEDGEtalk as our regular means to enhance our communication as a team?”
A final point. The player who steps into a dialogue in any of the above ways enhances the effectiveness of the team; the player who knows to step in and doesn’t is contributing to the downfall of the team. Which are you going to be this weekend when conflict occurs?
Mark Oelze
Author/Creator of PLEDGEtalk
Learn more at PLEDGEtalk.com
